"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
be right there i have to get my cape
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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