True but thats because hes a fetus.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
