Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
