Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
