i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
