I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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