If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Come share oat with me in your robe
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
