the new term for farting is butt boxing.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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