I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
