it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
