? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
