IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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