bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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