What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
