SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize