Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
