I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
