im about as happy as oj after his trial
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
