"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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