kristin has been a bad kristin
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
