I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
