Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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