I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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