He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
