On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
