you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
