I never want to see another naked old woman again.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
