I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
