You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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