I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
