whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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