Just cropdusted the office
where does the pee come out of this thing
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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