I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize