I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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