he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
