I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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