oh god the rape fog is back!
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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