it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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