Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
