woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
