I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
