youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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