Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
