Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
