I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
