Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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