They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
