I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize