Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
