I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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