Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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