so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
