you would pick up someone in the library
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
