Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
