I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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