ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
The dick lei will go down in squad history
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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