you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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