u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
