So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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