yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
