with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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