he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
