I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Randomize
