Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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