i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
