Midget sex pt 2 tonight
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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