id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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